seriously?

today... i am angry... this whole weekend, has been a bucket of bricks. and today, i am fed up. i don't feel like myself. (or the "self" that i believe i should be feeling like) everything has just been going wrong... i've been going to bed late, because i'm scared to go to sleep. saturday night i was just so upset, i was so depressed... i would've started crying if i felt like it would do me any good. last night, i had to go pick up my brother because his car broke down. i didn't mind that too much, it was fine. but then when dad got home from his busy day of fishing, he took chad back out and they got the car home with the help of my battery. and then he proceeded to rip MY car apart. he was frustrated because a light came on in the equinox. the purple car broke down, and so now obviously there is something wrong with MY car. yeah... except there wasn't. so my brother took the kia to school, which means i had to take the equinox. i have problems with the equinox, i don't feel safe in it. i almost got into an accident today... all because my dad didn't have the decency to ask me about my car. my car... as lovely as it is, has a sticky shifter. you have to pound the button down before it can move. but after you take it out of park, it's fine, no problems at all. but of course, my dad hasn't driven my car in the longest time, so he doesn't know this. after driving my car last night, he somehow determined that there is some massive problem with my car so he RIPPED OUT THE WHOLE INSIDE. not the seats, but the center, and part of the dash. only to find that it is STILL BROKEN. i'm so frustrated with him right now. he could've just asked me about it, and there wouldn't have been a problem. but no... he had to go and freak out. so now instead of having just chads car broken, mine is too.... i know that being angry at him, isn't going to solve anything, it isn't going to make anything better, and i'm just going to end up hurting myself. we had another argument friday night.... i'm so fed up with this. i'm so tired of having him do stupid crap like this. he doesn't listen to me, and now, it's like he's closed the lines of communication for good. i just, i don't know what to do anymore. i feel like giving up. everything feels so out of balance, so disorganized... my whole being just feels so cluttered. i need to get rid of everything. i don't feel like i want to stick this out anymore