grey

today, i saw the new tab title on my firefox browser. it said untitled. i wanted to cry. as silly as it sounds. i just had this overwhelming feeling. this little catch in my throat.

i've been really happy lately. the kind of happy that sneaks up unexpectedly. but now it's the weekend. this time that is sort of predetermined to be sad.

i've been thinking a lot about god lately. i realized that most of the time, when i have been discussing things with religious people, they tend to like the idea of miracles, but despise the idea of fate. i realized a while ago, that i really do like the idea of fate. this principle that some things were just meant to be. (it doesn't make me feel as bad for making mistakes) it comforts me a little to think that there are some things that i just can't control.

i went to bcc today. i went in on tuesday to buy my books for my classes, and to apply for on campus jobs. i found all of the books. and then walked down to the hall towards the career services department. they gave me this pamphlet and a flier that said i needed to fill out my fafsa, sign up on this website, and come back between the hours of 9 and 4 on friday (today) so on wednesday, i signed up for the website (and had to make a resume - very frustrating especially when you've worked with bma and are not exactly quite sure how to describe working any of those jobs i.e. industry) so i've been anticipating today, because i'm not really sure what i am supposed to be expecting from this "meeting" with career services. so today, i went down to the office, and they told me that i needed a form from financial aid. which is upstairs. so i went up there, signed in. and waited. they called my name, and told me that i had signed into the wrong sign in form. and politely pointed me towards the correct form. so i signed in over there, and waited for them to call my name. after around twenty minutes or so, i was called up. and in order to get started, i needed to change my major from "undecided" to whatever, so i had to fill out this form, and get it authorized by this other counter department. so i went over there, talked with the guy, and he said he would take care of it. so i went back, and the woman who was helping me tried to continue with the process, but the guy never put the form into the computer, so it was a little interesting watching everyone interact with each other tyring to figure out what happened. finally, everything worked out, i got my piece of paper, and went back down to career services. i walked in the door and then was told that i needed to wait until i could be helped. so i sat down. and waited some more. until Stuart Keen (the head honcho of career services) called me over to the desk. he was so nice, he asked me about my major, and even found out that there is an opening with the art gallery in mount holly and he told me how to get in contact with them, and two other departments in order to see if i would be able to get a job. and i don't know. by the end of everything. i was really excited. i took my sister to walmart. (she wanted rocks) and then came home, and called two of the three departments in order to see if they would consider me for the position. the gallery, (so awesome) and the library. no one answered though, so i left messages. BUT that's okay. i'm going to send them my unofficial application on that weird website that i had to sign up for. oh joy.

classes start on wednesday. i have ancient medieval foundations, public speaking, and intro to art. turns out, wednesdays are my busiest. mondays and fridays follow wednesdays schedule without the intro to art. and tuesdays and thursdays i have psych. so sometime, i'm going to need to set up a time to take my online anthropology course.
i'm not really all that nervous anymore. i just kind of want to start. and officially end my summer. summers been great don't get me wrong! okay yeah, just kidding... summer's kinda sucked. but there were good things about it. *wink wink*

(i have this little schedule for the classes, they're in different blocks of color. i put ancient medieval foundations in brown. because that's how it makes me feel. clearly, i need some better ways to spend my time)