YOU STILL AREN'T LISTENING

how many times have i told you? hmm? how many... oh probably a bazillion...
dad, i don't want to go to college
i don't want to go to trade school
i'm going to bcc for a semester
just a semester
yes. just a semester
my major is art
i'm majoring in art dad
i'm going to bcc for a semester
i don't want to go to trade school
i don't want to go to college
i want to go to michigan in dec.
i want to go to michigan dad
i'm only home for a semester
so i can plan on going to michigan.
i want to go to michigan dad
i don't want to go to trade school

tonight. i registered for my one semester of college
i am now officially a college student
i came home.
mom told dad.

d. "mom told me you registered today"
m. "yup"
d. "how many hrs?"
m. "15"
d. "what about next semester"
m. "i'm trying to go to michigan dad"
d. "oh really?"
m. "yeah... "
- few minutes later-
d. "carly, you should've gone to trade school"
m. "dad, i don't want to go to trade school"
d. "you could've had a cirtificate, now you're only going to have a semester"
m. "dad, i'm trying to go to michigan"
d. "you could've at least gotten more money"
m. "i don't really care about money right now"

and then he laughed at me. he just laughed. and then tried to play it off like it wasn't anything. "well good" he said... no not well good. i've been telling you for the past two months! TWO EFFING MONTHS! dad... and you aren't listening to me. and i tell you what i want to do with my life, and you laugh at me? you laugh at me like i'm some bumbling idiot who doesn't know what the hell she's doing. well you know what? even if i don't. even if i'm making one mistake right after the other. this is MY life. you had your chance. and now you're just screwing us all over with you're fabulous life choices... does that make you happy? is that what you want me to do with my kids? you want me to grow them up ashamed of themselves? NO, i just want to be happy, and you're going to laugh at me?
i don't even know why i do this to myself.