first night of my last homeleave.
first time buying a two piece swimming suit...
first try dying my hair to a color somewhat close to my original.
i've been organizing my recital music. i found some relatively cheap plastic things (so for to use) in the hopes that i would not be embarrassed by sharing or practicing the contents that dwell between the covers.
sorry boys....
i feel a little ridiculous right now... this whole two piece thing is really bothering me. for some reason, there are no longer friendly one piece bathing suits... i do not have the body for a two piece. i have been searching for a swim suit for the past couple months. when i was significantly heavier than i am now, i decided that they were of the devil and should not be worn under any circumstances. now that i am older, and slightly less bulbous, my qualms about it are fewer, but still present. after many weeks of frustrating stores, prices, and lack of materials... i decided that if it was my only option, whatever... but i can't help feeling a little insecure about it. there is no way that i am going to wear it without a cami on top... ha, good joke. but still... i feel a little strange knowing that by wearing this so called acceptable article of beach attire i am flaunting my external self. and i have no business doing so. the only people who look good in two pieces are size negatives... i'm a 7...
so now, i have the joy of feeling like a hippopotamus whenever i try to go swimming. joy.
excuse my babbling. i'm just one of many self conscious teenagers ha.
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