smidgen.

sometimes i forget how to do things. like how to hold a piece of paper with my left hand. or how to put my foot on the brake peddle. or how to drink something. or how to blink.

and don't laugh okay? because it's true. it happens to me all the time. like an epidemic. and when it does i have to concentrate really hard on how to remember. but for a few seconds i'm going really slow. sometimes it helps to try with the opposite side. like picking up something with my right hand and then mimicking with my left.

i dropped a glass today. and i dropped one last night. last night i was really upset with a few of my co-workers, because i didn't feel like they were doing their job. raman and i were running around doing everything and the other one's just kind of stood around and twiddled their thumbs. so i was in the back trying to dry the ice cream bowls. and i was fuming. i was really upset, because it was busy. and time was taking forever to pass, and i kept feeling like they were belittling me. and i just, i guess i didn't understand. and i was getting stuck in this awful train of thought and it just slipped out of my hand. and i freaked out. i jumped, and i covered my face, and i just stood there. i was so ashamed. and then i remembered how to move, and i went to go get the broom but my boss was like, no let someone else do it, because it will go through your shoes. i kept trying to do something because there was so much, and no one was doing anything, and i was freaking out, there were so many times when i was seconds away from breaking down.

but i don't know why i broke one today... it just fell out of my hands, and i kept trying to catch it. but it was going in slow motion, and i was moving too fast. and then it just hit. and it broke. but i cleaned it up, and i moved on.