i hate walking through my house at night. because everyone is asleep. i hate knowing that i'm the only one awake. maybe because i watched too many horror movies or something back in the day. but it's like i can feel the eyes on the back of my neck. or i can see faces in the shadows or behind me in the mirrors. it kind of sucks too, because some days i get this urge at like 2 in the morning to clean. and i clean and clean and clean and clean until my room is spotless. and everything is in its place. and my drawers are all closed. and the laundry is set out for me to do in the morning. and all of my books are where they should be. and everything is just set right where it's supposed to be. it makes me feel better before i go to sleep. but when i clean, i have trash. or something to take to the kitchen. or something that belongs in the bathroom mirror. and i need to venture out. but i hate going. because it doesn't feel right. and i feel scared. and cold. and... all by myself. and sometimes, i just can't handle that.