last night i was driving home from work. it was snowing. all day i had been listening to the weather reports saying that it was going to be a "snowpocolips" i was working the dinner shift. around 7 it started to fall. i was getting nervous because i had to drive home by myself. i couldn't understand why people kept coming in. all of the reports were warning people to stay home, to try and avoid as much of it as they could. but they kept coming in. ordering take-out. wanting to stay for hours drinking wine and pretending that there wasn't anything going on outside at all. our last pair of customers left at 9:40. i hobbled outside and brushed the snow off of my car... i started going home, scared because this was only the second time that i had driven in snow. it kept falling... i was going 35 and then all of the sudden i hit ice. my car started swerving so i stopped giving it gas, and i was trying to get control of it again, but it just kept going faster and faster, and there were cars next to me, i wanted to tell them to watch out. that they were going to get hit but i couldn't say anything. i couldn't even breathe. i was trying so hard, but i couldn't find my air. i was frozen, just babbling and breathing. but it wasn't working. i felt like i was suffocating, watching my car swerve and turn around in the wrong direction, sliding towards the median. i kept waiting for it to hit. to feel myself react from impact. but i couldn't feel anything. i had been on the phone with steevo, but i hung up, and started bawling my eyes out. these huge sobs that just kept coming. i kept crying and trying to breathe, and wiping the tears out of my eyes so that i could wiggle my car back in the right direction. it couldn't have been more than few minutes, but it felt like years. i was just pouring out my soul, hearing it everywhere, this unabashed panic breaking out of my chest.