wanted

well. class has started. this is what i wanted right? this is how i have set up my life. or... not set up my life. i guess, in a way, i just wait until people make my decisions for me. should i try and correct that? and still. all of this feels so incredibly unreal. like it isn't even happening. this is how i feel most of the time. like i'm stuck in the second dimension. i know that there is a "past" and a "future" but it doesn't really affect me. i can't see it. it's not happening. but i know. it's just not registering. i was hoping that by going to school it would all somehow just snap back into place. and i would be able to find my way back into the third dimension. but so far, i'm just frustrated. and annoyed that i need to be doing homework. and writing papers about the epistemological issues of history. is this really what i need to do? i've been waiting for something to bring me up and out of this whatever it is that i'm in. i thought this was it. but now, it just seems like it's going to freak out on me.



oh. and i think i might need glasses.