i feel like giving up. i really, do not know how else to say it... i feel like... giving up. sunday, was such a good day, until night came around, and screwed everything up. then monday, was so awful... and today. i just can't bear today. i hate this cycle that i'm in. is the happy even worth having, if i know that there is a much larger darker force headed my way? last night i had a dream, one of those stress dreams, that i was trying to get caleigh from school... i worked there, and i had to talk to the principal. i couldn't find my way... what does that mean? is it symbolic of something? all i know is that sometime after 6 AM i kept waking up and going back to sleep waking up and going back to sleep, and i couldn't tell what was real...
i'm not happy. i feel like a burden, like some mistake of nature, i feel purposeless, and wrong... is this how things are supposed to work? is this how everyone feels?
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