its coming

i've been thinking a lot about what happens after graduation. ha, although, i've been doing my best to avoid it. this past school year, as been one of the worst... there's always been someone to go to... and now there isn't. and if there was, i wouldn't. ugh. senior year has effectively turned me into an unresponsive heap of i can't think or create anymore. and im tired of asking other people to fill in the blanks for me. it is not their responsibility to make me happy, or to help me feel important. and it's unfair of me to ask them to.
i feel awful about this whole summer plan... like i've inserted myself into a simon and garfunkel show. haha, except without the simon or garfunkel part. but you know? like, i've somehow been able to insert myself into other people's lives, with nothing to offer or contribute.
my perfect parallel animal, is a leech.
after summer... i need to go and find something to do..
i don't really want to go to college...
at all right now.
ugh... maybe i should just forget about everything.
i'm just stressing out way too much to be of any use to anything.. :(