fafsa

... for this class period
we are supposed to be filling out our FAFSA
stuff... but i'm not sure that i really want to

they're just going to ask me a whole bunch of questions that
i don't know the answers to
so again, another wasted day

it's actually quite awful.
it was going okay, but then it wasn't. it was very wavy...
this morning i felt awful, but then, i didn't.
but then i did.
and then i didn't
and then i did again
because i found out that i actually really do suck at
my job
and, my boss is getting kind of aggravated with me

i feel very much surrounded by negative things
and i would like to not be... anymore
BUT, it's not working.

i don't want to think about the future
what i really want to do, right now. is sit in my room
with my blanket. and... do absolutely nothing
nothing at all
my deepest needs right now, are to be warm
so, maybe i'll invite someone to come and cuddle with me or something.

i'm kind of upset with myself right now.
(oh man)because, for the past few months
i've been on a steady incline of weight gain
and i'm walking around feeling like an ugly large
bulbous creature. and there's nothing i can do about it
i'm kind of thinking about not letting anyone wear my
clothes anymore.
there's nothing worse, than letting someone borrow one
of your favorite articles of clothing, and having it be
loose on them...
i guess though, the problem with this is that i am friends with
tiny people.

and tiny people are smaller than me. :)

i'm very aggravated right now.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG