topsy turvey

i want to be able to tell you that this weekend was amazing. that it was so incredible, and it changed my life... there were so many parts of it that were just, good. just what i needed. and then there were other parts of it that were just... terrible. on friday, i was waiting until 2 to leave... i got to have dinner with mrs. christian, and paul. but everything up until 2 was just... sad. i left, and it took me a while to get out of my funk... everything after that was soo good. i loved the gloria program.... i loved being able to go up, and stand next to nathanael and brittani, and roxy and belt out, in my squeeky rusty, ill-used voice the hallelujah chorus... and then that night, i got to see mrs. manente... and she looked so good, with her green scarf. i got to see so many people. then gabby and i went to danika's house, and talked until danika showed up... we exchanged christmas presents. they really liked theirs... i'm glad. i tried. we all went to sleep right after that... pookie and i woke up around 9:30-ish... we ate french toast and watched the latest episode of glee together... got ready and went to church... the service was kind of bleh, but mr. flores played his accordian.. so neat. we went to lunch at taco bell, and then pookie had to get jeff home.. so i had to say goodbye... i went and found earl and jacob and nathanael we all went for a walk around the 2 mile... then we went to the piano recital... and then... everyone was leaving. so i decided to go. everything was going well on the way home... but i should have gotten on to 95 north, instead of 95 south... so i ended up getting lost... and in near panic mode... and eventually i just shut down while peter was giving me directions... i pulled over and started crying for a minute or two... but i made it home... and then everything was okay... but then it wasn't again... and then it was... and then it wasn't... last night was this huge ordeal. this fight between light and dark... without the weapons. i tried to hug my dad last night. i got home... and it had been so hard... i tried to hug him. and he freaked out. he patted me on the back, and then escaped to the kitchen... i don't know.... i don't even know why i'm complaining
i should just shut up and accept it.
the end.