i couldn't help it

today, i went on my life is average, for the first time...
and i found a few that made me laugh
so because i'm a loser... i'm posting them up...
get ready

Today, I found a muffin under my pillow. I live alone.

Today, my school officially banned "The Floor is Lava" game

Today, I saw Batman and Spiderman fighting next door to my job at the mall. After a surprisingly intense fight, Spiderman knocked Batman to the ground and won. Batman got up and shouted "I'm telling mom!" before running off. I love my job.

I was walking down the street and I run into this random guy in a robe. I was going to walk past him but then he passed me a sticker and said "Welcome to the cult" . I was freaked out until I noticed that there was a unicorn pooping out cupcakes on the sticker. I am a member of the best cult ever.

A few days ago, at lunch my friends and I were playing with a ball covered in little suction cups. We began throwing it at the windows that separate the junior/senior room from the rest of the cafeteria, deeply entrancing a table of senior boys. The next time we threw it, it hit the window, bounced off and a senior boy (who had been hiding behind a garbage can) jumped out, snatched it in midair, and continued walking like nothing had happened. Respect senior ninja, respect.

Today I was looking at the back of my orginal Old Spice Body Wash and it stated "If your Grandpa handn't wore it you wouldn't exsist" Thanks Old Spice, Thanks Grandpa.

Today, I was at the market and had a craving for some bananas. I walked to the produce isle. Finally found my bananas as i reached out to grab one a man in a banana suit came sprinting around the corner, and snatched the bananas out of my hands.He then proceeded to run away screaming "YOU CANT EAT MY CHILDREN!!" Banana man you have won this match..