dear ____

i'm so frustrated with this right now...
every time i try to talk with you
it's like i'm desperately trying to grasp onto the
threads of our friendship
i'm scared to share pieces of my life with you because
i have no idea how you're going to react

and i try to ask you questions because i still want
to be friends with you, but it's like you've completely shut down
and i know... that we're just
going in circles...
and it's just the same as it's always been
no answer
no solution...

but i feel like, if this is the end. there should
be a goodbye. there should be a complete ending
there should be something to let me know
that you don't want me to try to be involved in your life...

and i want to know. that if we end up meeting
sometime in the future
it's not going to be awkward.
or strained.

but i guess there isn't a way to know
this. i guess.
i shouldn't be asking
questions that
i know that you can't answer.
i guess. i just shouldn't be
frustrated...
i don't know

i just don't know anymore...
i just don't.