i'm home now. and a little worse for wear. nothing really happened the way i thought it would. i have to go to work soon, but i'm tired. and i feel fat, and ugly. and just a little beat. i don't understand why it works this way. why in the end, i just end up feeling pathetic and jealous. we all come together and every thing is different. everyone came back better versions of themselves. except me. i don't know where i fit anymore. and then i get home. and nothing matters. they don't know. i don't want to tell them. it's like i'm just empty now. not even the good empty. can i just be someone else now?
i have nothing to show for myself. nothing at all. is it that i just haven't been trying? or that i'm physically incapable...
"You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
when you pass them at night under the silvery, silvery citibank lights
arm in arm in arm and eyes and eyes glazing under
oh you wouldn't want an angel watching over
surprise, surprise they wouldn't want to watch
another uninnocent, elegant fall into the unmagnificent lives of adults"
-the national.
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