how to write an essay

Day One:

open microsoft word, and an MLA-how-to

and make your cover page. don't put in a title yet, because you

have no paper. go to header and footer and insert page numbers.

Day Two:

make sure you have a three hour window, and stare at your

computer screen until you can write a sufficiently intelligent

opening paragraph. make sure you haven't read any information

about your topic yet, that comes later.

Day Three:

create a closing paragraph based on what you already know of

your material, and fill in an outline of how many topics you need

to reach 1,000 words.

you need at least a 6 hour window to have all of your reference

material's out in the open. switch back and forth between writing

and distracting yourself, and fudge out the rest of the paper.

don't concentrate too hard on what you're writing, just get it out of

your head. constantly check the word count until you have just enough

to pass the minimum.

Day Four:

Don't bother proofreading, print it out and turn it in...

success.