jacob started it.

people tell me quite a bit just to pray about it. to give it to god, and everything will be alright. what am i supposed to say to that? i prayed about this for 6 years, no answer yet... i think he's tired of listening to me. i can understand that they're just trying to help. but. it's not alright. not then, and especially not now.

my parents got their answer to prayer. it made them go bankrupt, move around the country. my dad was unemployed for a year or so. and no one in the church will listen to a thing they have to say. why can't i have luck like theirs...

every so often, i feel bad for thinking this. but i really can't help it... yesterday, with the whole dream scare... i really tried to solidify my idea of god. but i can't figure this part out.