milestone.

last night, i had a conversation with my father, that wasn't terrible. it should be noted. this is the first time, in a long time that we have actually talked. he didn't yell at me. or belittle me. or anything like that. it was an actual conversation. and he only monopolized it a little bit. but i actually felt like he was a person.

in other news. i think i may have found my calling.

in other other news. i completely broke down at work today... i didn't get to bed last night until around 2. and i woke up at 7, so i was feeling pretty tired to begin with. the whole shift, i was sluggish, and trying not to interact with the people more than i needed to. i didn't want to look angry or upset, and have them get the wrong impression. but, i was walking around, and i just got this huge overwhelming feeling of emptiness. of this terrible feeling of loneliness and abandonment. i couldn't handle it. i had to take a few minutes to collect myself. and then peter called, and it all came out. it was a 2 second conversation. but i couldn't stop. and then. it was gone. just like that. and i'm fine. not exactly the most sociable person at the moment. but, i think i'll be okay.