apples

i have been in private schools most of my life. when i went to 8th grade, my dad had just been fired from our SDA school, and it wasn't an option for me to go there. one: because my family was upset. two: because we didn't have enough money to send me there without the employee discount and send chad to BMA at the same time. i think there was also a problem with transportation as well. but those are the reasons that stick out the most. so what were my two choices? i could homeschool, or go to the public school where my dad was teaching. and of course, the way to make a well rounded decision. was to flip a coin. so i went to public school. i was really scared, because i had grown up in the adventist community. where all they tell you is that outsiders are bad, and that we need to convert the hethens. my first day was so awful. i was anxious and paranoid. the one thing that got to me, was lunch. because there were so many people, and i didn't know any single one of them. so i sat on the corner of a table with barely anyone. and ate my stupid sandwich. but when i had started going there for a while, things got better. i made a few friends. and i realized that i could actually buy things for lunch instead of bringing them. so what did i buy? honey buns. as long as i had money, i bought them every day. and sometimes a lemonade from the vending machine. i don't know why... i was in love with them. but for the rest of the year, and over summer, and then my freshman year at bma and then the summer after that... i ate them. i ate them until i was sick of them, and then for long time after that.

i was supposed to go to bma the summer before my freshman year. i was supposed to work there at industry. i didn't get out of school until they had already started working so right after i graduated i had a few days and then i had to pack my stuff and be gone. i had ridden with my brother when he had gone... so i knew the ride. and he was already there working, and telling everyone that i was coming. i was so scared. i was never really a camp person when i was younger. i hated the idea that my parents were leaving me behind. and i wouldn't be able to find them if i had trouble. i guess it all comes from my childhood or something... but i got there... and felt so panicky. i met mrs. moretta, and she was so nice.... she introduced me to gabby, and pooks showed me my room,and told me that everyone was in the guys dorm watching movies. but she would take me over there... but i didn't want to go. i got my room. and my parents helped me bring all my stuff inside. and i just wanted to leave. i started freaking out, and crying.... i felt like my chest was caving in. i didn't want to talk about it. i just wanted to go home, and lay in my bed with my pillow... and know that i was in a familiar place, with everything near me. my parents were really upset. and they yelled at me the whole way home. but i felt so relieved. it didn't even bother me...