accident

today i had an official breakdown.
it occurred after my first car accident
no one was hurt
but i totally freaked out
i came home
and was huffing about
and then i dropped my cookie
and i went outside
but no one was answering their phone
and i started bawling
and i called pooper
we talked for a while
but the whole beginning
i think for a good 10 minutes
i was screaming at him
about how i hate everything thats going on
like how my dad is jobless again
and silly things like that
it was much needed but i feel kind
of bad for him
i feel so isolated from everything
and so he kind of got the blunt end of
my frustration
it seems as if everyone is getting that lately
and i don't know.
maybe it wouldn't be so bad if people actually talked to me
but no
they don't
surprise...
i don't know why i'm so upset about it
but i really am
i live so far away
and it's hard to go and visit people
because i don't live
anywhere near them
and i can't go visit
so i try to keep in contact
but they're busy actually living their lives
and so by the end of it they don't want to message
me or talk to me or anything
and it's like.. well okay i'm really glad that i love you
i'm just so aggrivated with the whole thing
maybe i shouldn't be
i don't know maybe i'm running off of the assumption
that friends actually talk to each other
lately
they have no interest in initiating conversation
maybe i should just lay low for a while
so
that's what i'll do
goodbye internet
goodbye phone
i don't want you're apathetic responses
don't fake interest....
i'll live. i promise