today, i had to go the doctors office. the daycare requires me to get this form filled out by a physician before i can start working, but they said the latest i could get it in was about 2 weeks ago, so i've been trying to hurry up and do that... :/ yup. so, we were sitting there, and it turns out that our appointment was at 8:50 and we got there at around that time, but someone else had an appointment at 8:30 and got there the same time we did, so my mom was upset because now everything was messed up and we were going to have to wait for forever until we could see the doctor. but my mom and i got into this conversation about what i was going to use my money for. because, i'm working, and the whole purpose was to use it for registration, but my dad already paid for it, and he said i could probably just use if for splash cash here and there throughout the year. and so, i was planning on saving it so that i could go to poland with nikki if we're still going. so, i don't know, that was my plan and then my mom was like, oh, by the way, you have to pay for your books. so now i have to pay for that expense. but see, they made me get my own bank account. so if they had wanted access to that money, they shouldn't have let me do that. they specified registration money, and since that's paid... i should get to keep it right?
well, whatever. so i'm confused about that right now, seeing as how the communication with my family is very non existent. so, they're probably going to decide sometime that i can't keep any of it, which you know, i wouldn't be too upset about if they had told me that from the beginning. but whatever... right? yarg.
i really hate that oxy clean guy. billy mays or something like that.
not really, but i'm very annoyed right now....
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
South Carolina
so we went down to SC to visit family. my grandma rented these barracks in the Oconee county so my section of the family traveled 12 hours by car (very uncomfortable, don't do it) to go stay in this little... room. there were 2 bathrooms one in between two rooms. there were four beds to a room, a kitchen and a family room with 3 pull out couches. so we got there at around 5 on friday morning, we left thursday at the same time. my dad, chad and i were having trouble sleeping so we decided to go exploring before the sun came up. we walked down to this part of the "park" that had the directions to all of the trails. we wanted to go to hidden falls, but we couldn't find them, go figure, so we came back to the barracks at around 7:40 and went to bed. woke up at around 10 something. then that day, we just sort of, didn't do anything. later in the afternoon we went out and started looking to see what was around, we found out that everyone eats boiled peanuts. which i found, really strange... :/ they're salty and gross. AND SQUISHY... so, it was an experience. on saturday everyone wanted to go wake up super early and hike for three miles to see a giant rock... i did not find that exciting at all, and my parents agreed with me. so we slept in and then while everyone was gone, we went waterfall hunting :) it was pretty crazy, there's this one waterfall, dry falls that was used in the last of the mohicans movie, and so of course we had to go.. but they were closed, they were rebuilding the parking lot so, we hopped over the line and went down anyway, because we can't come back in september when it reopens... so we got back to the barracks at around 9 something, not in time for supper. and we had to sit around and wait for everyone to go to bed because we're stuck with the hide-a-beds. sunday, we just kind of sat around, the uncles went golfing when they came back, it was 3-ish so my dad took chad and i out, we walked around the highlands for about an hour and then we went waterfall hunting again :) this time, we found this river, that had this huge water hole type thing, and there was a rock 20 or so feet up. which of course we had to jump off of, because we're idiots. i was persuaded twice, but it was pretty scary. i don't jump off of things... haha, so yea. but we went down the river and there was this gorgeous waterfall, that you can't really hike to the bottom of because there's poison ivy and steepness everywhere so we went back up a little bit and climbed down, to the edge, it was so beautiful... then, yesterday everyone wanted to go to the cowpens battlefield and of course we had to stop at the bmw factory and the calhoon house. really exciting... :/ after everything, we started on our way back home.
we got here around 4:30 but I GOT 2 LETTERS! i was so excited haha. so today the plan is to write letters, go to work, and write some more..
so i told you the events, but perhaps later i will disclose the family drama
we got here around 4:30 but I GOT 2 LETTERS! i was so excited haha. so today the plan is to write letters, go to work, and write some more..
so i told you the events, but perhaps later i will disclose the family drama
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
finally
so on the top, that is nikki and i, i went to lbi
to visit the nases and company :)
i had a lot of fun. it was crazy seeing them again
and i really really missed nikki....:/
and then when i got home... my grandparents
had arrived. and my grandma brought me my blanket
the second picture.
:) it's like a giant puzzle piece with the scalloped edges!
i'm so excited!
i get to finish it. :)
i guess the only downside to my tuesday was that i got my period...
Rats... so right now i feel gross... but whatevs...
Monday, July 21, 2008
i knew a girl once
She liked to look through the windows of the houses
She passed by
To see the color schemes of someone else’s life
Her favorite part was the curtains.
Each house had its own set
Most of the time, they would match
The room to a T
And every time she looked in, it would be different
Sometimes there would be a person or two
And others, it would be bare
But every time she looked through,
Even if it was for just a moment
She could see a
Different perspective.
That was probably why she hated
Being in the driver’s seat
Road’s don’t have curtains.
Mostly, the only time she got to look
Was when she was sitting on the back
Of her daddy’s motorcycle
She would listen to her headphones
That she always wore under the helmet
And match the themes to
Someone else
Stealing the words
And painting her pictures
The funny thing is,
They don’t remember her
She passed by
To see the color schemes of someone else’s life
Her favorite part was the curtains.
Each house had its own set
Most of the time, they would match
The room to a T
And every time she looked in, it would be different
Sometimes there would be a person or two
And others, it would be bare
But every time she looked through,
Even if it was for just a moment
She could see a
Different perspective.
That was probably why she hated
Being in the driver’s seat
Road’s don’t have curtains.
Mostly, the only time she got to look
Was when she was sitting on the back
Of her daddy’s motorcycle
She would listen to her headphones
That she always wore under the helmet
And match the themes to
Someone else
Stealing the words
And painting her pictures
The funny thing is,
They don’t remember her
Saturday, July 19, 2008
slightly
this morning i woke up at around 5 because
i had probably the worst night mare... in a while
it was really really creepy.
uhm. pretty much i got kidnapped by these two guys
who liked to drink blood...
freaked me out.
so i didn't get back to sleep which automatically leads to
tired carly.
so we went to church and everything. we left early
and i took a nap that ended up being too short.
my dad, caleigh and i went with the jon mess and dorothy
to go canoing and kayaking.
actually, i must admit that i had more fun than i thought i would
it was my first experience in a kayak and i liked it a lot
it was a little bit of hard work
and probably not enough. but
i enjoyed myself thoroughly
until about 9-ish.
we decided to go to bills house and watch
jesus christ superstar. and i was very appalled.
in no way shape or form do i or did i have any
interest in seeing this film. it strikes me as
a mockery almost. and i don't think it's okay.
at all, but whatever, i'm just a teenager.
i find it interesting however that a man who
won't go inter tubing on a saturday will watch
a movie that is known for being controversial
the same day.
i don't know. whatever.
so we went and i figured i'd give it a try just for
politeness and maybe a discussion afterwards
but around 15 to 20 minutes in
i became so disgusted with how it was all turning out
i went upstairs and fell asleep.
so tomorrow we're planing a fun filled day of maybe
riding some roller coasters
yay?
we'll see how i feel then.
:/
right now
i think it would be a good idea if i was to go to sleep
i had probably the worst night mare... in a while
it was really really creepy.
uhm. pretty much i got kidnapped by these two guys
who liked to drink blood...
freaked me out.
so i didn't get back to sleep which automatically leads to
tired carly.
so we went to church and everything. we left early
and i took a nap that ended up being too short.
my dad, caleigh and i went with the jon mess and dorothy
to go canoing and kayaking.
actually, i must admit that i had more fun than i thought i would
it was my first experience in a kayak and i liked it a lot
it was a little bit of hard work
and probably not enough. but
i enjoyed myself thoroughly
until about 9-ish.
we decided to go to bills house and watch
jesus christ superstar. and i was very appalled.
in no way shape or form do i or did i have any
interest in seeing this film. it strikes me as
a mockery almost. and i don't think it's okay.
at all, but whatever, i'm just a teenager.
i find it interesting however that a man who
won't go inter tubing on a saturday will watch
a movie that is known for being controversial
the same day.
i don't know. whatever.
so we went and i figured i'd give it a try just for
politeness and maybe a discussion afterwards
but around 15 to 20 minutes in
i became so disgusted with how it was all turning out
i went upstairs and fell asleep.
so tomorrow we're planing a fun filled day of maybe
riding some roller coasters
yay?
we'll see how i feel then.
:/
right now
i think it would be a good idea if i was to go to sleep
Friday, July 18, 2008
wasted.
tonight we had youth group.
and afterwards i decided to drive home because
i figured that driving on the highway at night
would be a little easier than doing it in daylight
seeing as how, at night, you can see lights
and during the day, there are more cars, whose lights
you cannot see. so i told my dad, i was like, hey
i wanna drive home. and he was like, sure whatever.
but before we left i was in a pretty good mood
i was singing along with the radio and i was making small talk
and he was being completely unresponsive the whole time
which you know, sort of put a damper on things.
and he would get frustrated with me when i was trying to drive.
but of course i had no idea how to get home. seeing as how i had
never done it before
and he was getting mad at me
he even responded to my small talk with things like, is it necessary
and such. and i don't get it. it definitely killed my good mood. and
i'm very sad right now.
around 3/4 of the way home. i got this overwhelming feeling
of extreme sadness. it came out of no where. and it hasn't left yet
i keep feeling like i'm going to just burst into tears
and it's awful.
i think this is probably the most upset i've been all summer.
i don't know. i'm fairly certain i could make
a whole bunch of excuses.
i think i'm done with excuses.
someone asked me tonight
what i did with my spare time.
i couldn't answer them
it's almost like i've finally come to terms with the fact
that i'm barely half of anything.
my personality is stolen
my thoughts are borrowed
and everything else
is like everything else
there is not one ounce of uniqueness in me
and i haven't done anything to change it.
and sure i can find the faults in everyone else
and it's just a s midge harder to find them in myself
but i haven't done anything to correct them
at all
and i'm not okay
i'm not okay with any of it
i wish to be honest and
sincere
and original
and beautiful
and smart
but i am none of it
as of right now
i am a little girl
sitting on her bed
crying her eyes out
because her own father
doesn't wish to talk to her
and i'm not
okay.
and afterwards i decided to drive home because
i figured that driving on the highway at night
would be a little easier than doing it in daylight
seeing as how, at night, you can see lights
and during the day, there are more cars, whose lights
you cannot see. so i told my dad, i was like, hey
i wanna drive home. and he was like, sure whatever.
but before we left i was in a pretty good mood
i was singing along with the radio and i was making small talk
and he was being completely unresponsive the whole time
which you know, sort of put a damper on things.
and he would get frustrated with me when i was trying to drive.
but of course i had no idea how to get home. seeing as how i had
never done it before
and he was getting mad at me
he even responded to my small talk with things like, is it necessary
and such. and i don't get it. it definitely killed my good mood. and
i'm very sad right now.
around 3/4 of the way home. i got this overwhelming feeling
of extreme sadness. it came out of no where. and it hasn't left yet
i keep feeling like i'm going to just burst into tears
and it's awful.
i think this is probably the most upset i've been all summer.
i don't know. i'm fairly certain i could make
a whole bunch of excuses.
i think i'm done with excuses.
someone asked me tonight
what i did with my spare time.
i couldn't answer them
it's almost like i've finally come to terms with the fact
that i'm barely half of anything.
my personality is stolen
my thoughts are borrowed
and everything else
is like everything else
there is not one ounce of uniqueness in me
and i haven't done anything to change it.
and sure i can find the faults in everyone else
and it's just a s midge harder to find them in myself
but i haven't done anything to correct them
at all
and i'm not okay
i'm not okay with any of it
i wish to be honest and
sincere
and original
and beautiful
and smart
but i am none of it
as of right now
i am a little girl
sitting on her bed
crying her eyes out
because her own father
doesn't wish to talk to her
and i'm not
okay.
thankfull part 2
so as i was saying, these new shifts.
on the one hand. i will be waking up earlier
which is always hard when going back to school
because i need to regulate my schedule again so that
i wont' start off the year being super tired
and irritated... but on the other hand. i don't think i really want
to work for around 9 hours a day.
working three hours already is really
wearing me down. i think it's safe to say
that i'm not cut out for child care.
at least not so many.
when it gets down to the two or three
sometimes even four kids
i can handle them pretty well
but when it's a whole bunch of kids. it gets more
difficult.
but. i am really excited that i even have a job
and picking up this extra cash is going to be really
good because not only will we have more registration money.
but being able to work with the kids all day
instead of only at the end when they're more bold
might be good for me.
i don't even know who i'm subbing for yet.
so i might have different kids.
who knows
it's an adventure..
:)
so let's hope i'll be able to accept it
on the one hand. i will be waking up earlier
which is always hard when going back to school
because i need to regulate my schedule again so that
i wont' start off the year being super tired
and irritated... but on the other hand. i don't think i really want
to work for around 9 hours a day.
working three hours already is really
wearing me down. i think it's safe to say
that i'm not cut out for child care.
at least not so many.
when it gets down to the two or three
sometimes even four kids
i can handle them pretty well
but when it's a whole bunch of kids. it gets more
difficult.
but. i am really excited that i even have a job
and picking up this extra cash is going to be really
good because not only will we have more registration money.
but being able to work with the kids all day
instead of only at the end when they're more bold
might be good for me.
i don't even know who i'm subbing for yet.
so i might have different kids.
who knows
it's an adventure..
:)
so let's hope i'll be able to accept it
thankful
so today i'm feeling
very .... thankful
or at least like i should be feeling this way.
i picked up two weeks of full shifts at work
right before i go back to school.
so it's either going to completely kill me
or, maybe i'll be able to handle it.
i'm not really sure you know?
my computer's being a jerk so i'm going to have to restart
so i will post in a few minutes...
very .... thankful
or at least like i should be feeling this way.
i picked up two weeks of full shifts at work
right before i go back to school.
so it's either going to completely kill me
or, maybe i'll be able to handle it.
i'm not really sure you know?
my computer's being a jerk so i'm going to have to restart
so i will post in a few minutes...
Thursday, July 17, 2008
i love YOU daddy warbucks
i watched ANNIE
today. with my little sister
it used to be my favorite movie when i was a youngin
i think i'm going to have to get some of the
music for that
it was really cute
:)
today. with my little sister
it used to be my favorite movie when i was a youngin
i think i'm going to have to get some of the
music for that
it was really cute
:)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
wonderful weekend :D
so friday night
at around 12:10 or so
i get a surprise visitor
peter came!
he was here until this morning
i was really excited
i missed him a lot and he's not going to be here for a while
so, it was nice.
we got to talk quite a bit
and he introduced me to la boheme
:)
but we ate lunch together this morning
and then he was off. i think he didn't stay
long enough, haha, but i am still very glad
that he came.
after he set out, my dad wanted to go on the boat
so we set up and went tubing
it was actually a lot more fun than
i remember it being.
but if peter was there haha... i'm sure he would've enjoyed himself
so yes.
i had a very good weekend
YAY!
i think i very much enjoy surprises
and cookies
Thursday, July 10, 2008
accident
today i had an official breakdown.
it occurred after my first car accident
no one was hurt
but i totally freaked out
i came home
and was huffing about
and then i dropped my cookie
and i went outside
but no one was answering their phone
and i started bawling
and i called pooper
we talked for a while
but the whole beginning
i think for a good 10 minutes
i was screaming at him
about how i hate everything thats going on
like how my dad is jobless again
and silly things like that
it was much needed but i feel kind
of bad for him
i feel so isolated from everything
and so he kind of got the blunt end of
my frustration
it seems as if everyone is getting that lately
and i don't know.
maybe it wouldn't be so bad if people actually talked to me
but no
they don't
surprise...
i don't know why i'm so upset about it
but i really am
i live so far away
and it's hard to go and visit people
because i don't live
anywhere near them
and i can't go visit
so i try to keep in contact
but they're busy actually living their lives
and so by the end of it they don't want to message
me or talk to me or anything
and it's like.. well okay i'm really glad that i love you
i'm just so aggrivated with the whole thing
maybe i shouldn't be
i don't know maybe i'm running off of the assumption
that friends actually talk to each other
lately
they have no interest in initiating conversation
maybe i should just lay low for a while
so
that's what i'll do
goodbye internet
goodbye phone
i don't want you're apathetic responses
don't fake interest....
i'll live. i promise
it occurred after my first car accident
no one was hurt
but i totally freaked out
i came home
and was huffing about
and then i dropped my cookie
and i went outside
but no one was answering their phone
and i started bawling
and i called pooper
we talked for a while
but the whole beginning
i think for a good 10 minutes
i was screaming at him
about how i hate everything thats going on
like how my dad is jobless again
and silly things like that
it was much needed but i feel kind
of bad for him
i feel so isolated from everything
and so he kind of got the blunt end of
my frustration
it seems as if everyone is getting that lately
and i don't know.
maybe it wouldn't be so bad if people actually talked to me
but no
they don't
surprise...
i don't know why i'm so upset about it
but i really am
i live so far away
and it's hard to go and visit people
because i don't live
anywhere near them
and i can't go visit
so i try to keep in contact
but they're busy actually living their lives
and so by the end of it they don't want to message
me or talk to me or anything
and it's like.. well okay i'm really glad that i love you
i'm just so aggrivated with the whole thing
maybe i shouldn't be
i don't know maybe i'm running off of the assumption
that friends actually talk to each other
lately
they have no interest in initiating conversation
maybe i should just lay low for a while
so
that's what i'll do
goodbye internet
goodbye phone
i don't want you're apathetic responses
don't fake interest....
i'll live. i promise
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
qwerty
tomorrow my dad and i are going to hit bath and body works
because they're having their SUPERHUGESALE!
yesh ma'am
today i finished niko's birthday present
i wrapped and addressed
and tomorrow we're shipping it out for his birthday :)
shh! surprise :)
work wasn't too bad today
which is good.
tomorrow's my last day this week
because friday is fourth of july! yay?
sooo, yhup
i'm really really hungry
BUT i can't eat
because eating at night
gives you extra weight
that's harder to get rid of
and i'm going to sleep in like a half hour
and you're supposed to go to bed at least two hours
after you eat
so i now have to suffer in silence...
GO ME!
currently
i have lost all feeling in my butt
Rats..
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