packing

so, i'm currently getting together all of my things, and getting ready to go up to bma on sunday. everything is pretty much all together. but it's very depressing. yesterday, i went to the movies with Chrystal. on the way home i was in the car and listening to "love you all" by cloud cult. and it started pouring rain. i was just sitting there bawling my eyes out because it was so beautiful. all of my stress and doubts and fears and loves came out all at once in this awful moment. but i called pooper and started yelling to him. most of the time, he doesn't mind helping me calm down. then, this morning i headed out for my last day of work. but around 11 i had an msg attack and had to go home. which of course you know they're going to complain about because it was my last day. they're going to think it was a cop out. but i got home and was puffy and red and there was no way that i could've worked. but whatever. so now i'm packing and getting all of the things that i want to take with me into the middle of the room so that i can find them easily. my dad thinks i'm too stressed. so he took my phone away this afternoon and he's not going to let me use the computer until tomorrow. which i understand. i am stressed. i just found out tonight that he took out a loan so that he could help me pay for my registration fee.
it really freaks me out because he said that he wasn't going to take any more loans out. but whatever. so i'm just kinda chilling waiting for time to either speed up or slow down. i'm in limbo waiting for everything to come back to earth.
sigh.