Stages of Grief

If you are anything like me, being on time is something that you take great pride in. There is never an issue about being "late" to something. Alarm clocks are set in advance, ample time is given to get ready, and more often than not you leave with a cushion of 20 minutes, or more, in order to guarantee punctuality. If there is ever a situation where circumstances have double crossed you and there is a possibility that your perfect attendance will be tarnished - you go into panic mode. The stress and anxiety you experience from that singular event, could provide enough energy to power New York City. During these times, it is important to remember to stay calm. It also helps to recognize that There are stages that you will go through before you are brought back to your acceptable level of sanity.

I went through all of this today as I was driving from my photography class to my science class. I was forced to feel and overcome these emotions. I hope to bring about awareness. Perhaps by sharing my story, I can help.

1. Denial: Even though you are checking the clock every 10 seconds, you may feel like you're just being paranoid, and can make your deadline no matter what happens. This of course isn't always true, and you may tell yourself things like...

I'm not going to be late, the clock is just a little off today.

Time will stop in order for me to make it to my class on time

2. Anger: Generally, if you are in a car, it is normal to experience feelings of hate towards your fellow drivers, also known as "road rage". You may feel like tailgating the car in front of you will actually make them go faster. However this may irritate whoever is in that car and they will go slower. Which will make you say things like...

@$*!#%^&!!!!!

GO FASTER OR I'M GOING TO REAR END YOU!

I'LL RIP OUT YOUR HEADLIGHTS AND BEAT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THEM YOU _____ING ______ER!!!!

3. Bargaining: After your excellent driving tactics fail you, you start to try and telepathically communicate with the drivers in front of you. Sometimes in desperate situations, you will even try the same thing with traffic lights.

If i stop riding your bumper will you pretty please go faster?

If you turn green I vow never to turn on red!

4. Depression: Usually the above strategies fail, at which point you feel sad and disheartened that you couldn't cheat your way through the system.

I'm such a failure, I'll never take another class as long as I live.

My professor will fail me for my disrespect.

5. Acceptance: And finally, we have made it to the final stage. Your life is not ending. You start to calm down, breathe easier, and even start singing along with the radio. Now we get to recognize things like

Fact: Being 20 minutes late to your 2 1/2 hour class will not kill you.

Fact: You have 30 minutes to make a 40 minute drive, on top of which you will have an extra 5 to 7 minutes of walking time from your car to the classroom. You are not going to make it.

Everything always turns out in the end. And after you walk into the classroom you sill spend the rest of your time on the internet anyway. The important thing is, that you have tried you best, and you will learn from your mistakes.

epic bag

I found this bag!

and it's amazing

i wish i made more money....

C:

We demolish dreams.

"Hyperbole and a half" has a new post up. It is called Wolves. As usual, it is hilarious. Please read it.

Anyways... my family adopted those two kittens if you remember from previous posts. We took them to the vet a little bit ago, to see how old they were, and to see how much it would cost to get them neutered. Well, apparently it's crazy expensive to have them get their shots, and neuter them, and have their front claws removed. (Personally, I would prefer them to keep their claws... because I think it's ridiculous to take them out. It's not like we have anything worth protecting in the house... Let the rip it up!) My dad was kind of worried about the cost. We aren't exactly the richest family out there, and we need to pinch pennies wherever we can. So to spend this much money on two kittens we've had for a few weeks seems a little strange. He presented the family with the idea that we might not be able to keep the kittens if we couldn't find the money to "take care of them". And when that idea was met with cries of outrage and the whining of almost every family member, my dad decided to go ahead and get the job done. The kittens now have an appointment on Tuesday to have all of their hopes and dreams demolished. I'm excited that we get to keep them. But I'm not sure how I feel about this whole operation. I feel like the shots are a good idea, even human children need shots. I guess I just feel guilty that they're not going to be able to have little babies of their own. I'm ruining their body because I want a pet. I just don't feel like it's right...

i was rudely awakened. now i'll never finish my dream. my last words were "why did they attack me?" and now i have the hiccups. i will never recover from this moment.

also, I was traumatized... my computer got scratched! badly. like multiple rivets... it was awful.

but i will try to move on from this.

i will make something good come out of my day.

i am determined.

love this.

i stumbled across this article, and i really like how this guy phrases things.

my favorite part is this, if you skip the rest of the article... at least read this:

Here is that Big Difference between homosexuality and other sins: There is no sin I can commit that, by virtue of committing it, renders me incapable of loving or being loved. I can commit murder. I can steal. I can rob. I can rape. I can drink myself to death. I can do any terrible thing at all—and no one would ever claim that intrinsic to the condition that gave rise to my doing that terrible thing is that I am, by nature, simply incapable of giving or receiving love.

No one tells the chronic drinker, or glutton, or adulterer, or any other kind of sinner, to stop experiencing love. Yet that’s exactly what so many Christians are insisting gay people do.

When you tell a gay person to “resist” being gay, what you are really telling them—what you reallymean—is for them to be celibate.

What you are truly and actually saying is that you want them to condemn themselves to a life devoid of love.

Be alone, you’re demanding. Live alone. Don’t hold anyone’s hand. Don’t snuggle on your couch with anyone. Don’t cuddle up with anyone at night before you fall asleep. Don’t have anyone to chat with over coffee in the morning.

Do not bind your life to that of another. Live your whole life without knowing that joy, that sharing, that peace.

Just say “no” to love.

Be alone. Live alone. Die alone.

The “sinful temptation” that Christians are forever urging LGBT people to resist is love.

Being, of course, the one thing Jesus was most clear about wanting his followers to extend to others.

Can we stop with this cruel idiocy already?

positive

i will chose to be positive.

i will chose to look at things from a different perspective.

i will chose to ignore the negative thoughts in my head.

i will chose to focus on things that bring everyone happiness.

everything is not always about me. i need to accept this, move on, and try to understand other people. i find that when i get really down in the dumps, all i'm thinking about is myself. it's not healthy. i need to reshape the way that i think...

inspiration

I love Adele. I absolutely adore her voice. Her music is the music that is always stuck in my head. All of her songs melt together inside of my head, but i can tell you practically all of the ins and outs of them. I can tell you which hook is from that song. Which phrase is from this section on this part of the album. (Realistically my skills are limited... but I am not going to tell you that because it will take something away from the magic of this moment)

She is coming out with a new album on February 22, 2011. And I am going to get it.

I was just about to crack down on finishing this TrueWind project when I stumbled across this interview with her. There are two video sections. I watched it, and even listened to the last song on her new album. (I am fairly certain that it cuts to it after the first interview video is over -that is what happened to me. And you have to physically click the link to part two of the interview)

What I really loved was this quote from the second video

"I made a huge effort to just swim in music for a while. I want to be a career artist. I want to show growth and development and progression and stuff like that. So I literally just sat in my house for three weeks and didn't really leave apart from to take the dog for a walk, and just listened to loads of music, catalogues of music. Loads of hip-hop, loads of country, loads of pop, loads of stuff I like already, loads of stuff I don't even like, and just trying to understand what it is about a song that moves me; where it peaks, why I think it peaks, stuff like that, just kind of studying it. I don't think this record is perfect or nothing but I think the songs are a massive step up from the last one."

I love it when artists that I admire actually put effort into their work. When I can see that they are trying to better themselves and their voice. That they are not just some tool of the media. That they care about their own personal development as well as my need for their music.

The videos are really interesting because you can really see that she has a fairly large personality. She'll just laugh about whatever, and make references to things that I may not be aware of. Because she is normal. Who doesn't like normal people?