tea/cookies

a few weeks ago, peter and i found this recipe for indonesian nutmeg tea cookies.and they were wondeful. tonight i got a craving. so i'm about halfway through making a batch of yummy goodness. my parents went out for a double date with some family friends so my brother and i decided to use this as an opportunity to bond C: apparently he has been having a "hankering" for some butterscotch cookies. so that's what he is making... we're listening to jerry reed on pandora. (i like last fm a lot better.... bleh)

and i'm thinking tonight i'll make some tea with my infuser that i got in west chester. i have yet to break it in. and i have so much tea! :O

enough said

today. they were interviewing. maybe for a new manager position. if so. we are screwed. truth.

yes.

tonight will go well

tonight will go well

tonight will go well

tonight will go well

tonight will go well

maybe if i say it enough it will actually happen....

it never ends

i've been stressing out lately about going to work. because it's summer. and we're busy. and i never know if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. and i won't know until i step in the door. this morning it was feeling like it was going to be one of the bad one's. i walked in. and no one was there. so i started working. checking off the list of things that needed to get done before we open. about 10 minutes into it. i'm still by myself. which is a problem. so i ask the boss if someone else is coming. and turns out, no. because the other worker took off, and the cover hasn't shown up. so i'm alone. which is awful. because there are still things that i don't know how to do. there isn't ever any time to teach me because usually there's only two of us and we both need to be doing something. so unless i come in on a day that i'm not working. i'm never going to get to learn these things. now that i know i'm by myself. i start freaking out. i'm rushing around trying to figure out how i can do as many things at once... i'm literally running for an hour and a half. nonstop. just going.... finally the cover shows up, finishes the last little pieces. and i don't know what to do with myself. i was so worked up. so stressed out. then it was all just. over. and i burst into tears. i just started crying. i couldn't stop it. so i ran to the bathroom, as fast as i could go. praying that no one noticed. i was leaning up against the wall with my hand over my mouth so that no one could hear me. just sobbing.

truth

today. i tried on my mothers wedding dress.

it fit. a little roomy. but it still looked

really nice.

it was kind of emotional.

sunshine and lollipops

someone asked me to cover on friday night. and i wasn't the most thrilled about it. but they had a really good excused and if i had said no, i would have felt like a jerk for the rest of my life. i'm really glad that i decided to do it. because it was one of the best work experiences ever.

we didn't have any tables from 4:15 until around 6-something. so my co-workers and i (there was one other waitress, the hostess, and the other waiter came about halfway through) stood around talking and laughing the whole time. and it was a really great opener for the evening. things started out kind of slow but picked up really quickly. i was really excited by all of the tables that i got. the people were really friendly-there for a nice friday night date with their loved one's. after about 5 or 6 tables the other waitress came over and was like, oh this table requested you. and i was like WHAT?! first time that ever happened. and i had waited on the family before so it wasn't anything weird. but it was still such a confidence booster. the whole evening was this jumbled mess of crazy and stress. but i was in such a good mood it didn't even matter that i was running around and wheezing through 3 straight hours of food and dessert. C: there was this table that had come in a month or so ago, and had asked me for advice about their daughter. and i wasn't their waitress, but i stopped by their table as much as i could. and when they left. we have this huge curtain in front of the door to keep the breeze away from the customers. and i was helping the table right next to it, and they pulled the curtain apart to say goodbye. haha, so great. no one had ever done that before. there was also these three ladies that had gone to school together in india and had split up. they all found each other on facebook and decided to come to our restaurant to reconnect. and i got to serve them... there were just so many moments like that and it made the whole night so worth it.

AND i found this incredible pasta salad at wegmans. it was a sundried tomato something with rigatoni. and it was amaaaaaaaazing.

so tonight i'm going back. and i hope that i can do the same thing. oh la.

monster mash

yesterday. was probably one of the most terrifying days of work i think i have ever experienced. usually when i get there, i enjoy the time it takes to set up, because i feel like i can mentally prepare myself for the next few hours of stress and failure. but it went by too quickly. anyway. i ended up on the phone with this woman. she wanted to make a reservation for a party of 20 people. which normally wouldn't be a problem. but. we only have 17 tables (3 tables of 6, 6 tables of 4, and 8 tables of 2) so we are very hesitant to take large parties that rent out half our space. people who know each other like to talk. when you have 20 people together on one side of the restaurant it gets really loud. the other diners get frustrated. so if the person wants a large reservation, we have to ask our manager. so i asked if we could call back. no. she needs an answer right that second or she's going to call another place. i asked my manager and he said that we would need to have certain things happen. she was very angry even with the thought of restricting to those certain things. i was frustrated. because i did not have answers to these questions she was asking. she would not let me call her back. my manager did not want to speak with her. so i'm stuck on the phone listening to her yell at me about the do's and don'ts of managing a restaurant. by the time i get off the phone. i'm tired. i'm angry. and i don't understand why i needed to be harassed. i don't know the maximum number of people that we can hold a reservation for. they never told me. i don't know anything about catering. so when people come in expecting me to know these things - and i don't... it sucks. because most of the time, they don't want to be transferred to someone else. they don't like being pushed from face to face. and i can get that. but it's not like i'm doing it for jollies. so. right after all of this, we have a reservation for 14 people. then a reservation for 10. then a table of 7 and two tables of 6. during which all of the other tables fill up. we don't have a hostess on wed. there were only three servers. which normally wouldn't be such a bad thing. we know what we're doing most of the time. but when it's all unexpectedly busy and no one has any chance to breathe. and we're all tired. no one's getting what they need. tables are filling up and emptying faster than we can give them water and clear off the settings... it was hectic. utter pandemonium. i had so many people getting angry at me for the little things. and i know they're trying to help, and i try not to let it get to me too much. but sometimes. it really does. our dishes kept running out. we didn't have any clean silverware. the glasses were empty most of the time. the funny thing is. that if we had had one more person. most of those things could have been avoided. sigh.

i know, that most of my unhappiness was my own fault. and i am prepared to deal with that. and sometimes. people just don't understand that things might be a little slow if there are a million people who need the same thing at the same time. yesterday was a low point. i'm just hoping that tomorrow will turn around a little bit. that i'll be able to focus. and do my job the best way that i can. so that we have happy customers coming and going. telling their friends how lovely we are. how great our service is. and how yummy our food tastes.

CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT MY CAT?!

bahaha. okay seriously though... my cat does this thing now. when i'm on the couch, with my computer, he'll climb up to the back around the headrest. and climb down my shoulder into my lap. and it's like... "looooovvvveee meee raaawr!"

sad and lonely

with no friends. that's what my brother said.

we're playing the "who has it worse" game. he's winning... i don't understand why this happens to me. i was feeling so good these past two weeks. and then as soon as i get home. my mind starts losing it's ability to function. and now i'm tired and agitated all the time.

gah.......